Confessions a la mode
by DarkElvenPrincess4
Summary: Please pardon the stupid title. 3 parts. Part 1: The nightshift goes out and Sara gets drunk and dances in ways no one ever knew she could. Part 2: Sara dancing to a song about her man. Part 3: Sara reveals her past to her co workers with Gil's help. GSR
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters nor the song mentioned. **Crying**

Part I

The nightshift had a new tradition. After particularly hard cases, they would go out for drinks.

Their most recent case had affected them all. Seven kids had died in a fire started by their mother. Everyone hated the cases where kids were involved.

So they all met at the Panic Room, a local bar/dance club close to the lab. Jim joined them and everyone enjoyed themselves.

When a particularly catchy song started playing, Nick, Greg, Warrick, and Catherine left the table to dance. Jim, Sara, and Grissom stayed sitting and awkwardly watched their friends dance.

Jim and Grissom didn't dance because they didn't know how and weren't used to the music. Sara refused to dance; she wasn't used to social situations and was afraid to embarrass herself by dancing. But she felt left out when everyone else left to dance. A second beer quickly remedied the situation.

Their friends returned to the table, and the group engaged in some light-hearted conversation. After four beers and a shot of tequila, Sara was halfway plastered. No one had ever seen a giggly, word-slurring Sara before, so they enjoyed it while it lasted; it might be good blackmail later.

What a surprise it was when Sara got up and went over to the DJ to request a song. The Pussycat Dolls song 'Buttons' started to play and Sara took a place in the crowd of dancers. She did a little more than standard club dancing.

_I'm telling ya to loosen up my buttons babe (uh huh)_

_But you keep frontin babe (uh)_

_Say what you gon' do to me (uh huh)_

_But I ain't seen nothing (uh)_

Sara's hips were moving in ways that none of them had seen before. She was grinning like she had a dirty secret and licking her lips. Everyone's jaws dropped to the floor. Who knew Sara, socially awkward, private reclusive Sara, could dance like that?

_Typical _

_Hardly the type I go for_

_I like it when the physical _

_Don't leave me askin for more_

_I'm a sexy mama (mama)_

_Who knows just how to get what I wanna (wanna)_

_What I wanna do is bring this on ya (on ya)_

_Backup all that things that I told ya (told ya, told ya, told ya)_

_You been sayin all that right things all night long_

_But I can't seem to get you over here to help take this off_

Sara moved her hips in a figure eight pattern. She was letting it all hang loose and it felt good. Those belly dancing lessons were really paying off, she thought.

Catherine gasped when Sara dropped to the floor and came up again, rear end first.

"And I'm the exotic dancer!" she cried.

Warrick whistled. "Damn, the girl can drop it like it's hott!"

_Baby can't you see_

_How these clothes are fittin on me_

_And the heat coming from this beat_

_I'm about to blow, I don't think you know_

_I'm telling ya to loosen up my buttons babe (uh huh)_

_But you keep frontin babe (uh)_

_Say what you gon' do to me (uh huh)_

_But I ain't seen nothing (uh)_

Sara ran her hands up and down her body. This was such a release for her; she wondered why she didn't do it more often.

Grissom was watching her silently. He'd never seen this side of Sara before and wasn't sure if he liked it or not. He wasn't even sure if she was dancing like that because she was drunk or because she wanted to. Grissom hoped it was because she was drunk. It might have been his body talking, but he found it kind of sexy.

You say you're a big boy but I can't agree 

_Cuz the love you said you had ain't been put on me_

_I wonder if I'm just too much for you_

_Wonder, if my kiss don't make you just_

_Wonder, what I got next for you_

_What you wanna do_

_Take a chance to recognize that this could be yours_

_I could see just like most guys_

_That your game don't please_

Sara was shaking everything and rolling her body. Greg was drooling again and Nick smacked him upside the head. Sara pointed to Grissom on the third to last line, winked, and crooked her finger in a 'come hither' gesture. When he didn't move, she dragged him onto the floor and began to dance around him.

_Baby can't you see_

_How these clothes are fittin on me_

_And the heat coming from this beat_

_I'm about to blow, I don't think you know_

_I'm telling ya to loosen up my buttons babe (uh huh)_

_But you keep frontin babe (uh)_

_Say what you gon' do to me (uh huh)_

_But I ain't seen nothing (uh)_

Grissom's face was as red as a tomato. He was absolutely mortified at being dragged into this. Sara rolled her head, causing her hair to fall in her face, and moved her hips again. She had picked this song especially for Gil; if he didn't get the message now, he never would.

Her hands ran over his shoulders and down his chest, and she giggled at the look of terror in his eyes. She moved around him again, and his eyes followed her. Even though he was embarrassed beyond belief, Grissom couldn't help but watch Sara; she was beautiful and fascinated him.

The song ended and Sara staggered back to the table, laughing. Grissom followed, his face returning to its normal color.

The table was cheering and Sara blushed.

"Where'd you learn to dance like that?" Greg asked.

"MTV and the girls from dayshift," Sara replied. "They took me to clubs on my nights off. And I took belly dancing lessons awhile back."

Catherine glanced at Grissom, who was sitting next to Jim. "Wow Gil, you didn't have to look so terrified," she said.

He glared at her, but said nothing.

Sara was giggling again and grabbed Grissom's hand, trying to get him to dance again. Pulling her with him, he stood up and headed towards the door.

"I think I'll take her home."


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Same as part 1, I don't own nothin'.

Part II

Five weeks had passed since Sara's little 'dance recital.' No one knew what had happened after Grissom brought her home that night. Nothing happened the night she was drunk, but a lot had happened over the last few weeks.

Standing in the break room, Sara smiled. She had come in for coffee and found the radio on. Her new favorite song, 'Ain't No Other Man,' had just come on, and she couldn't resist the urge to sing and dance.

Grissom was on his way toward the break room when he heard the music. Thinking Greg was listening to the radio instead of doing his job, Grissom stopped in the doorway, prepared to yell. The words died in his throat when he saw Sara, singing and dancing. He smiled and stood to watch her, making sure his presence went unnoticed.

_I had feelings from the start_

_Couldn't stand to be apart_

_Something about you caught my eye_

_Something moved me deep inside_

_Don't know what you did boy _

_But you had it and I've been hooked ever since_

_Told my mother, my brother, my sister and my friend_

_Told the others, my lovers, both past and present tense_

_That every time I see you everything starts making sense_

Sara danced around the table, thinking about the last 5 weeks. She and Gil had officially started a romantic relationship. They were taking it slowly, working out past issues, but they couldn't be happier. About two weeks earlier, they had started staying the night at each other's places. They were getting quite comfortable with themselves, each other and the idea of being in a relationship together.

Grissom couldn't help but watch her. Sara had a great voice and was a good dancer. Thankfully, today's dancing was not as provocative as the other night's had been.

_Do your thang honey!_

_Ain't no other man can stand up next to you_

_Ain't no other man on the planet does what you do (what you do)_

_You're the kinda guy a girl finds in a blue moon_

_You got soul, you got class_

_You got style, you're bad ass (oh yeah)_

_Ain't no other man it's true (alright)_

_Aint' no other man but you_

Sara knew there would be no other man for her; she had known it for a long time. And now, she could act upon her feelings without being rejected. Grissom was working on showing his emotions and could actually be quite caring. He made her feel loved, something Sara was not used to feeling. They were both working on their communication, but she still couldn't believe she'd found such a wonderful man and that he felt the same way she did. She was sure she'd wake up if someone pinched her.

Clearly, Sara didn't care that she was in a glass room and that everyone could see her, thought Grissom. Or she forgot. People passing in the hallway were staring at her curiously, but Grissom thought his girlfriend was cute when she was concentrating on the task at hand.

_Do your thang honey!_

_Never thought I'd be alright (no no no)_

_Till you cam and changed my life (yeah yeah yeah)_

_What was cloudy now is clear (yeah yeah)_

_For the light that I needed_

_You got what I want boy and I want it_

_So keep on givin it up!_

Sara went on singing, oblivious to everything and everyone around her. Grissom really had changed her life. His lecture decided her career, and he'd given her a job. She wiggled from side to side, flowing with the music.

Grissom had been there for everything: her near DUI, the lab explosion, the incident at the mental institute. He was her life preserver in the sea of evil she called her life.

_Tell your mother, your brother, your sister and your friend_

_And the others, your lovers_

_Better not be present tense_

_Cause I want everyone to know that you are mine and no one else's! _

If only she could shout it from the highest building in Las Vegas. Grissom was her man and Sara wanted everyone to know it. The problem was, they had to keep their relationship quiet. If Ecklie or the Sheriff found out, their jobs might be in jeopardy. Sara didn't mind keeping them a secret for a while, but she didn't know how long she could keep her happiness to herself.

She stopped singing, but continued dancing around the room, humming occasionally.

Grissom was still watching her from his spot by the door. It hadn't been too long ago that she'd been angry and unhappy. He had no one to blame but himself for that. But now she looked happier, and she wasn't so angry anymore. He promised himself that he would spend the rest of his life making up to her all the wrong he'd done and all the pain he'd caused her if she'd let him. Just seeing her so carefree made him feel glad he'd finally made a move; he didn't feel so alone anymore.

Sara danced until the song ended, then posed. She laughed, breathless, and went to turn off the radio. She jumped when she felt hands on her hips and a low voice say, "Those belly dancing lessons really paid off, didn't they?"

She turned quickly to find a pair of blue eyes staring back at her.

"Damnit Grissom!" she exclaimed. "You scared the shit out of me!"

He chuckled, his eyes sparkling. "Sorry, honey."

Realization hit her like a ton of bricks. "Wait, you've been watching the whole time?"

Grissom nodded. Sara's face went red and she took a few steps back.

Catherine walked through the door just in time to see Sara's face go red as she backed away from Grissom.

"Uh oh," she said. "What did you do this time, Gil?"

Grissom laughed. "I didn't do it, she did."

Catherine poured herself a cup of coffee.

"What did she do?" she asked eagerly.

Sara glared at Grissom. "Gil, if you tell her, I swear you'll be sleeping on the couch for a month."

Catherine spit out her coffee when she heard Sara.

"What?!" she exclaimed.

Grissom looked at her and shrugged. Sara laughed at the shocked look on her face.

"Sorry, Cat."

"What? How long?" sputtered the strawberry-blonde CSI.

"Five weeks," Sara told her.

"If you tell anyone Cath, I swear I'll kill you," Grissom threatened. "Believe me, I know how."

Catherine merely smiled and picked up her mug. "Not a word," she promised, heading for the door.

Looking at each other, Grissom and Sara sighed and shook their heads.

"At least you won't have to keep us a secret anymore, honey," Grissom told his smiling girlfriend.

"I guess not."


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Same as the other parts.

Author's Note: Thanks so much to everyone for reading and reviewing. I hope you had as much fun reading this as I had writing it. If you want, I could whip up a Part 4…but it would definitely be the last part and probably all GSR…. let me know!

Part III

Another hard case and another night out. This time, they went to "The Cavern Karaoke Club." The graveyard crew did not want a repeat of last time.

The sat at a table, sipping drinks, and discussing the case, their lives outside the lab, and everything in between. Everyone congratulated Grissom and Sara on finally getting together. Even Grissom was having fun; laughing at jokes and getting to know his team again. Sara was allowed one beer; she sipped it slowly.

When she had finished it, she decided it was time to put her plan into action. Grissom was the only person who knew the whole story of her past and she thought it was high time to tell the others. Grissom was extremely supportive of her decision and they had talked a lot about how she would tell them.

No one was singing at the moment. Everyone on night shift who wanted to sing and already gone up and belted out his or her song. Sara looked at Grissom. He took her hand and squeezed it gently, offering her a reassuring smile.

Taking a deep breath, she got off her chair.

"Ok, guys, my turn to sing."

They gave each other confused looks as Sara made her way towards the stage and chose her song.

"This one goes out to good ole' mom and dad," she said sarcastically as the music began to play. Sara didn't look at the television screen like most people; she knew this song by heart.

_I will not make the same mistakes that you did_

_I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery_

_I will not break, the way you did, you fell so hard_

_I've learned the hard way to never let it go that far_

Sara was determined not to become like her mother. She remembered asking Grissom if he thought there was a murder gene. She didn't want to live in the shadow of her past forever; it was time to turn over a new leaf.

_Because of you I never strayed too far from the sidewalk_

_Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt_

_Because of you I find it hard to trust, not only me, but everyone around me_

_Because of you, I am afraid_

_I lose my way and it's not too long before you point it out_

_I cannot cry, because I know that's weakness in your eyes_

_I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh, every day of my life_

_My heart can't possibly break, when it wasn't even whole to start with_

Tears formed in Sara's eyes as she thought of all the times she was never good enough for her parents. The fear of rejection was why she didn't get close to anyone and why she kept all of her emotions bottled up until she cracked under the pressure.

_Because of you I never strayed too far from the sidewalk_

_Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt_

_Because of you I find it hard to trust, not only me, but everyone around me_

_Because of you, I am afraid_

_I watched you die, I heard you cry, every night in your sleep_

_I was so young, you should have known better than to lean on me_

_You never thought of anyone else, you just saw your pain_

_And now I cry in the middle of the night, doin the same damn thing_

The tears were flowing freely down Sara's cheeks, but her voice remained strong. She remembered all the screaming and fighting up until her mother murdered her father.

Everyone at the table was silent as they watched Sara sing. Catherine was crying; they could all feel her pain. Grissom watched her with a smile on his face; he was so proud of her for having the courage to do this.

_Because of you I never strayed too far from the sidewalk_

_Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt_

_Because of you I tried my hardest just to forget everything_

_Because of you I don't know how to let anyone else in_

Sara pointed to her friends. She wanted nothing more than to let them in, but she just didn't know how and she didn't know what their reaction would be. Singing tonight was her first step in telling them and letting them into her life.

_Because of you I'm ashamed of my life, because it's empty_

_Because of you I am afraid_

_Because of you_

_Because of you_

The song ended and everyone was clapping and cheering. Other than Nick, they never knew Sara could sing. She laughed and made her way back to them, wiping her eyes with the backs of her hands.

Gil kissed her as she sat down. "That was beautiful, honey."

She smiled and took a deep breath. "Ok, I thought it was about time you knew about my parents," Sara said. "But first, I'm gonna need another beer."

After the waitress brought her another beer, Sara began her story.

"Well, my parents fought a lot. Screamed a lot is more accurate. Anyway, my mother and I got beat up routinely and we ended up in the hospital more times than I can count."

She stopped and looked at Grissom. He nodded and he laughed uneasily. "You're not going to make this easy for me, are you?" she asked.

He smiled ruefully, at which Sara drank half her beer in one shot.

"Where was I? Oh yes, screaming, fighting, hospital trips. I always thought that it was normal to go to the hospital a lot. I never really had any friends growing up. I was always too busy with school; I studied to escape the hell that was my life. Finally, I guess my mother had had enough. When I was 13, she killed him. She just kept stabbing him. They sent her to a psychiatric hospital and later to jail and I went into foster care."

Sara sighed. "So there you have it. The reason I get so emotional, obsessed and out of control on domestic abuse cases and basically every other case."

She sighed again and waited for their reaction. No one said anything. Aside from Gil, they were all too shocked to speak.

"Oh, and I was an alcoholic and almost got a DUI last year," she added.

Slowly, the shock receded from her colleagues' faces. Nick smiled and squeezed her hand across the table. "We'll always be here for you girl."

"No wonder you're so tough," Warrick grinned.

"I'm not that tough," Sara replied quietly.

Catherine wiped tears from her cheeks. "My god, Sara," she whispered. "If you had told me-us, this years ago, we might've started off better."

"I know, Cath," Sara said, a little smile on her face. "I am so sorry for blowing up on you all those times. I didn't tell you guys this because I wanted pity. I hate being pitied. I wanted you to know what makes me tick because I want to be a better friend to all of you. And this is what I do; I bottle up my emotions until I explode."

She sighed and decided to revise her last statement. "Well, I did until this character decided to get involved," she said, punching Grissom playfully on the arm.

He laughed and put his arm around her waist. "What can I say, Sara? I'm persistent when I want something badly enough."

Sara smiled. "But seriously, Gil, if you hadn't come the day of my suspension and the day of my DUI, I don't think I'd still be alive. Thank you for everything."

Grissom grinned and kissed her forehead. "I'd do anything for you, sweetheart."

Sara looked thoughtful. "Although, you can be a pain in the ass sometimes."

"Wait, I thought he was a pain in the ass all the time," Greg deadpanned.

Everyone laughed except for Grissom, who was too busy giving Greg a death glare to find it funny.

"I'm happy for you Sara, I really am," Brass said, hugging her. Soon all of the night shift was hugging her and laughing.

The evening began to wind down, and Sara hugged each of her friends again before they left. Grissom walked her to their Tahoe and opened the door for her before getting in himself.

Closing her eyes as she leaned against the seat, Sara felt like a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders. For the first time in a long time, she felt empowered and happy. She could move forward with Grissom in a way she never could before tonight. Her past was still her past, but at least she wasn't haunted or held back by it anymore.


End file.
